


all we have to do

by aknightley



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8465545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aknightley/pseuds/aknightley
Summary: Keith gets hurt during a mission, and Lance is not sure how to handle that. Lance wakes up on the floor outside of the medical bay, jerking wildly, body a mess of aches and twinges.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been affectionately calling this "hurt keith au" because that's essentially what it is -- it's my longest Voltron fic by about 3k and it's been a real pain in my ass. As always, written with Chase, [kantr](http://kantr.tumblr.com), in my heart. Special thanks to Sarah, [ilgaksu](http://ilgaksu.tumblr.com), for reading over it and making me feel like it was worth sharing.
> 
> Title comes from Hayley Kiyoko's song, "Pretty Girl." The full lyric is "all we have to do is start" but I didn't want to make the title quite that long, haha.
> 
> ETA: The fic now has REALLY LOVELY art made by [yourfaceismypaintbrush](http://yourfaceismypaintbrush.tumblr.com) which can be found [here!](http://yourfaceismypaintbrush.tumblr.com/post/154218416342/t-h-e-r-e-d-p-a-l-a-d-i-n-more-okay-so-this) Please go and like and reblog!!!

Lance wakes up on the floor outside of the medical bay, jerking wildly, body a mess of aches and twinges. He blinks rapidly until he gets used to the bright lights again, eyelids flashing black and red on repeat. Slowly, he stretches his limbs one by one, counting out his breathing as he goes, _in_ , left leg, _out_ , right leg, _in,_ left arm, _out,_ right arm. When he's done he feels calmer, but there's still something buzzing under his skin. He doesn't know for sure, but it feels like it's still the middle of the night. Well. Every moment sort of feels like the middle of the night out in space, but there's a weariness lingering in the corners of his eyes that says that he should still be asleep.

The door to the medbay is firmly closed, but it would open if he just stood up and pressed a button. There's nothing stopping him from going inside except his own reluctance to, which irks him more than he's willing to admit. He shifts on the floor a little, pressing his hands against his own knees, trying to think past the exhaustion clouding his mind like cotton.

He looks up at the door again.

He hates waiting for things. He's always hated waiting for things. He hated waiting for his brothers and sisters to get out of the bathroom at home, elbowing and getting elbowed out of the way by flailing limbs; he hated waiting for exam scores to come out at the Garrison, knowing his entire future rested on a single number, a ranking among the best and the brightest when he felt so dull; he hates all of the waiting they have to do out here, flying from planet to planet, with only the suffocating expanse of nothingness to hold them.

He really, really hates waiting for Keith to wake up.

With only the silence of the hallway around him, it's easy to focus on his breathing, in and out, and he flexes his fingers and closes his eyes and tries not to hear the echo of Keith's choked gasp once more, the sound of his body hitting the ground, the way he'd sprawled at Lance's feet like a twisted rag doll. It's too quiet out here.

Inside the room there's a machine hooked up to Keith, beeping in time with his heartbeat. There's a machine measuring his brain waves, and one keeping him supplied with fluids, and a half a dozen more that do things Lance isn't aware of. Inside, Keith's laid out peacefully on his back, unnaturally still, eyelashes like bruises against his cheeks, dark hair fanned out over the stark white pillow. His hands are palm up on the bed. Lance has memorized the blue maps of his veins in his wrists. He knows exactly how the bandages wrapped around Keith's chest unwind.

He knows every inch of that room.

All of them spent the first day there, hovering around the edges of the room in groups and by themselves. The first day, Shiro sits at Keith's bedside, human hand pressed to his mouth and metal hand gripping the blankets by Keith's waist. Allura asks Shiro for information since they're brothers, and he mechanically lists off blood type, medical history, the origins of the little scars that dot along his body. "That one was from him falling off the bunk bed when we were little," Shiro says, ghosting a fingertip over Keith's elbow. His smile barely even wavers -- even now, he's holding onto his composure. Lance swallows the urge to shake the desperation out of him, to loosen the fear that's clawing its way out of the corners of his eyes. Shiro somehow doesn't break, but Lance almost wants him to.

Lance sits in the corner with Hunk and stares between the toes of his shoes and Keith in shifts; he knows he's being too quiet, he knows he should be saying something to alleviate the pressure the silence is piling on them. Pidge watches him, eyes flashing with some kind of knowledge behind their glasses -- when they aren't looking at him, they hover over Keith's other side, monitoring the screens. They ask Coran and Allura a thousand questions, words flitting in and out of Lance's ears like _peritoneal lavage_ and _hypotension._ They prop a little pad up on their knees and peck at the screen with their fingertips, hissing their breath between their teeth every so often.

Allura and Coran flit in and out of the room, taking care of the castle while attending to the rest of them at the same time. They check and recheck Keith's bandages, study the screens attached to the machines hooked into his body, make dozens of notes in their own pads. They whisper to each other as they walk out of the room and Lance feels his body strain towards them without moving, like he could hear them if he just _tried_ hard enough. Their words are always covered by the soft sound of the door closing.

Hunk reads on his own pad, diagnostics streaming from the lions and malfunctions in the castle's programming alike. He shifts himself in the chair next to Lance, nudging him with his elbows and knees every so often, occasionally reaching over to squeeze his shoulder or push him straight when he starts to slump in his seat. Hunk doesn't say anything to him, just stays at his side, a solid presence, the warmth of his body contrasting the cold the room gives off.

After the first day they start to filter out; Coran and Allura still check in on him, but they don't linger. Hunk leaves next, too worried about the lions to spend more time just studying what needs to be done to fix them. Blue had been damaged in the fight as well, so Lance thanks him absently when he leaves, picking at the edges of his sleeves and watching the incremental rise and fall of Keith's chest. Hunk pats him on the shoulder and murmurs something to Pidge when he passes. They press their palms to their eyes and sigh deeply; they've been awake for about three days straight now, longer than any of the rest of them. They'd been the one in charge of planning the infiltration, pulling the information about the prison from hacked transmissions, keeping track of the guard shifts and security system. He wonders if they blame themselves for this.

He wants to tell them, _no, this was me, this was my fault_ , but he can't force himself to spit the words out. They stay stuck in the back of his throat like bile.

Pidge does leave next, shuffled out of the room by Coran the next time he comes in, practically lifted off their feet when they stumble on the way to the door. They trail their hand along Keith's bed, looking over their shoulder at his still face, and then yawn wide enough that something pops. Coran snorts, bringing some levity into the room briefly, but then he's gone and it's just Lance and Shiro.

Shiro looks up at him, clearly expecting Lance to take Pidge's seat, but Lance can't bring himself to come any closer, can't bring himself to look at Shiro with this fear and guilt churning in his gut. They sit quietly for hours, listening to the even beeping of Keith's heartrate, unchanging. The sound presses ceaselessly against his eardrums, and even though he doesn't close his eyes he can see every moment of Keith falling all over again, everything building in bits and pieces until it gets to be too much. When he looks up, Shiro is staring at him with wide eyes; Keith's body lays between them like a statement, and Lance can't take it anymore.  

Lance stands up and everything in him aches, head and back and chest and heart, and he quirks a smile he doesn't feel at Shiro and walks out of the room without looking back.

He makes his way blindly to his room and falls asleep immediately; he wakes up a couple of hours later thrashing his way out of a nightmare where Keith dies at his feet, spilling bright red blood in a flood of color to match his suit. The last word on his lips is Lance's name.

He's nearly wild with the urge to run to the medbay, just to make sure nothing has happened, but he makes himself stay in bed, curled up on his side with his back to the wall, shivering and sweating his way through the rest of the night.

Shiro finally has to leave Keith's side the next day, too many other responsibilities pulling at him, but everyone goes to check up on him as the days go by. Keith's bedside earns a few flowers Hunk finds in one of the castle's storage rooms, and Pidge rigs a system so that they'll get pinged wherever they are in the castle if any of Keith's vitals change. Shiro leaves books stacked on his chair whenever he's gone, like they're saving his spot. Small things that make it less like a medbay, but it's impossible to forget with Keith pale and unmoving in bed. Keith has always been tightly controlled motion, deliberate steps and lunges and angles. It's difficult to look at him when he can't be himself.

Lance knows that the others are visiting Keith, and they tell him how he's recovering, but he can't bring himself to go back. He doesn't want to see Keith's unchanging vacant expression.

It takes a four days of fitful sleep -- snatched hours of naps in hidden alcoves around the castle, short enough he doesn't dream -- before he gives into the impulse to walk to the medical bay again. He plants himself outside the door, telling himself to just go in and see for himself, but his exhaustion takes over and he falls asleep before he can go through with it.

So here he is. Staring at the door. He can just barely hear the sounds of the equipment through the wall. The rhythm remains unchanged, a steady _beep beep beep_ that says that Keith is still alive. He's just sleeping. He's just not awake.

Lance is abruptly annoyed with himself. He's being ridiculous. He wants to go into the room, so he should just -- go in there. He should just get it over with, confirm for himself that Keith is still okay, and then go and get some sleep. Some real sleep.

He slaps his hand on the button before he can second guess himself and the doors slide open. The lights are dimmed in the room, but the glow of monitors and the light from the hallway casts a faint glow over the bed. Keith is a smudge of black and white until Lance walks in and the lights adjust so he can see.

Keith's chest rises and falls almost imperceptibly. If not for how rigid his body is, if not for the circles under his eyes and his paleness, he'd look like he was just asleep. His bandages wind over his shoulder and down under the covers, clean right now; Lance remembers how the first few day or so they'd turn pink within minutes of being changed.

He settles in the chair Pidge sat in, staring so hard at Keith that his vision blurs. Keith is a collection of individual parts and he can't focus on any of them without remembering what happened. His hair, his hands, his throat -- Lance remembers them covered in blood, leaving sticky prints all over him as he tried to lift Keith off the ground. He looks at Keith's mouth and remembers the bubble of blood that burst and left a little splatter of red fanned across his cheek. He looks at Keith's mouth and remembers the way it had curved a little before Keith had slumped in his arms.

"Why did you do that?" he asks, voice rough with sleep and disuse. He's too loud in a silent room, but Keith doesn't move at all. He clears his throat and says, "You shouldn't have done that."

Keith doesn't answer.

Lance swallows and reaches out a hand, hovering over Keith's shoulder. Keith doesn't react. He just breathes in and out.

Lance stands up and leaves and does not go back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

They're on a planet that's unpronounceable for anyone other than Allura and Coran, trying to infiltrate a Galra prison. They're hoping to rescue the imprisoned leader of the aliens that originally inhabited the planet so they can work with them and get the Galra off the planet. Just forming Voltron and destroying the Galra infrastructure on the planet isn't an option since there are hostages involved, so it's a more complicated mission, which is why Lance is surprised when he's paired with Keith.

"You guys work well together," Shiro explains shortly, and then turns and starts talking to Allura again, leaving Lance to blink incredulously at him. He glances around, looking for an answer that doesn't seem to be coming. Everyone is busy talking, or studying maps, or getting together supplies. They're waiting for night to fall before they head out, which means everyone is a little bit anxious; waiting sucks.

"What is he talking about?" Lance asks, and Hunk shrugs, fiddling with his bayard, pulling wires and little metal bits out and examining them. He said earlier that he was trying to figure out what exactly makes them choose what kind of weapon they present, to understand if it's possible to manipulate the bayards the way Keith claims Zarkon had the last time they saw him. Lance isn't sure how successful he'll be, but he's not too worried -- he loves his weapon the way it is, no changes necessary.

"You and Keith actually did pretty well together when we were on Shay's planet, remember? And you haven't been bickering as much as usual." Hunk sounds distracted, which is annoying because Lance would kind of like to talk about this, but the last time he bothered Hunk while he was working they'd both been electrocuted and Hunk had programmed his door to refuse to open unless he walked into the room backwards for a week.

He settles for making a disgruntled noise and looking over to where Pidge and Keith are studying the map of the prison; Keith is fiddling idly with his knife, watching intently as Pidge points and draws a line from one end of a corridor to another. How much of Pidge's explanation Keith is actually following is up for debate, but Lance will be able to keep an eye on him.

Which, he realizes, is probably what he's meant to be doing. Keeping an eye on Keith, since everyone remembers the last time Keith went off on his own. Babysitting duty, huh. Lance rolls his eyes and starts checking his suit over just for something to do. He's not going to complain about being stuck with Keith for this -- they'd done pretty well saving the Balmera and he can keep track of Keith without too much trouble. He doesn't know why he's so caught up thinking about it. He and Keith are -- friends, probably, by now.

The back of his neck prickles. He looks up just in time to see Keith's eyes flick away from him.

Once night falls, everyone gathers in the main room of the base of operations the Malchians have provided for them. The resistance has maintained steady support since their leader was captured, but they've lacked the manpower and experience to actually rescue her -- the Malchians had been a largely agricultural society before Zarkon had invaded, peaceful and incredibly unprepared for a hostile takeover.

"Alright," Allura says, gesturing for everyone to gather around her and Shiro.  "This is what we're going to do. The Malchians have said they will guide us to the prison, where they and Coran will wait for when we complete extraction. Quintz here," she says, gesturing to one of the Malchians, whose antennae wiggles a little at being singled out, "Says he knows about an opening in the perimeter that should allow us to sneak in."

Shiro glances at her and then looks at the rest of of the team, squaring his shoulders. "Okay, Allura and I are going to try to find Lexas. She's going to be in the most heavily guarded sector, so we'll have Pidge and Hunk trying to pull information from the system as well as disable any camera or sensor they have in that area. Keith and Lance will help get you two to the security center and then run defense until Allura and I have secured Lexas."

"Okay," Pidge says. There are dark circles under their eyes, but they're grinning as they gesture to the screen, where a bunch of text and numbers are scrolling. "The translation code that Hunk and I have been working on should make it possible for us to control the system, but no guarantees, so everyone has to be as stealthy as possible." They send a pointed look to Lance, who squawks in mock outrage.

"Why are you looking at _me_?" he asks, "Keith is the one who snuck off last time and blew up an entire room full of that weird stuff!"

Keith scoffs and rolls his eyes, but he doesn't argue -- because he can't, Lance thinks triumphantly.

"Listen," Allura interrupts firmly, "This is an important mission for Voltron, and we all need to work together to assure there are no missteps, alright?"

"Sure, sure," Lance says, watching with narrowed eyes as Keith mutters a quiet, "Yes, princess."

"Everyone suit up and meet at the front of the building in five minutes," Allura says, and she and Shiro walk out, already leaning their heads in to talk quietly between themselves.

Lance glances out of the corner of his eye at Keith, who gathers his hair up in one hand to help tuck it under his helmet. He's got this determined look in his eye, this quiet confidence -- Keith has always seemed, despite his impulsiveness and his irrational behavior, like someone in complete control of himself at all times. There's this assurance that says even his mistakes can't keep him from succeeding. Lance does not want to, but he envies that about Keith more than anything.  Lance has always struggled rising to his feet again when he falls -- he can do it, but each crash hurts more than the last, and each rise eats away at more and more of his self-esteem.

He shakes his head and jams his own helmet on, eyes flicking automatically past all of the incoming feeds to watch as Keith checks all of his suit buckles and straps. Keith stills and then looks up, and their eyes meet and hold. Lance can't tell what expression is on Keith's face, but his mouth twists strangely and then he's walking over next to Lance.

"Are you ready?" he asks, and Lance straightens and grins at him.

"Born ready," he says. Keith's mouth twitches into a smile.

The actual infiltration is just as easy as Allura had suggested it would be -- there's a tunnel under the wall, and they go in shifts as the cameras canvas the area. Allura and Shiro immediately break off from the group, heading towards the center of the structure. Shiro glances back at Keith, who raises a hand briefly, and then follows Allura around the corner.

"Okay," Pidge says softly. "The security room should be just this way, if the map is correct. Guards walk in shifts."

"Stealthy, guys," Hunk reminds them, and Lance makes a zipper across his mouth and then smiles widely. Hunk grins back at him. Some of the tension lingering over them dissipates a little. This is just another mission; what's one more dangerous rescue attempt on top of the others they've already done?

They manage to duck in and out of rooms and alcoves, timing it the way Shiro had taught them, Hunk muttering under his breath and the rest of them following his lead. It's going so well that Lance is almost suspicious, except he's also thinking that maybe they're due something going right for once. After getting blown up himself, the castle almost murdering them, Allura getting kidnapped, and then getting sucked into a wormhole, they kind of deserve a break. The universe believes in balance, right?

They somehow don't get caught by any of the guards they see, even though there are four of them moving in a group. Lance feels like he's holding his breath every time they press together in the shadows, Pidge nudged between all of them, as out of the way as possible, Hunk breathing out relief between his counting, Keith a line of raw tension against his right side. None of them are looking at each other directly, as if afraid to break whatever spell has fallen on them, allowing them to continue moving deeper and deeper into the prison.

As soon as the last one of the soldiers walk around the corner, Pidge and Hunk are hurrying to a door marked with a word in Galra that Lance is assuming means something like _Security._ Lance and Keith take up a defensive stance, backs to each other to look down opposite sides of the hallway -- Lance can hear Keith's steady breathing over the comms, can feel his warm presence behind him while they wait for Pidge to hack the lock on the door. Something in him settles a little.

"Ten seconds, Pidge," Hunk whispers, and they curse under their breath and then excitedly pump their fist as the door whooshes open. Hunk and Pidge immediately disappear inside, and there's a brief burst of sound as the soldiers inside scramble to grab their weapons and then drop as Pidge electrocutes them. Hunk's voice comes over the comms. "You two keep an eye out for anyone who might try to come into the room. We'll take care of getting Shiro and Allura to the leader."

They have to get out of the hallway before the next wave of guards comes through, so they backtrack the way they came, ducking into an empty room just as they pass by. Keith presses a hand to Lance's arm as the door closes behind them, and Lance glances sideways at him and then down at where Keith is touching him. Keith is staring at the door, all of his focus on the footsteps Lance can hear passing by them. In their ears, Pidge and Hunk are quietly talking to Shiro and Allura, guiding them to Lexas.

"Doing okay?" Keith asks, and Lance startles and looks at him, almost surprised to find Keith looking back this time. Keith is close enough Lance can feel the warmth coming from him. "Five seconds," he adds.

"Uh," Lance says, "Fine?"

They head out of the small room and move to check the corridors on either side of the security room. Lance struggles not to glance back at Keith again, a little confused by his question, by the soft way he'd asked it. Keith looks back at him and signals all clear. Lance signals the same back.

"Shiro and Allura are almost there," Hunk murmurs. "Give us five minutes and we should be able to get out of here. Pidge and I are gonna set up a distraction on the opposite side of the prison, so our exit should be a lot smoother."

"Good," Lance says. "This sneaking is killing me."

"I thought you were born ready?" Keith asks, and Lance whips around to glare at him. Lance can see the smug curve of his mouth from here. Something about it pulls at him.

He opens his mouth to say something, but Keith interrupts with, "Ten seconds." Lance slides into an alcove at his end of the hallway and watches Keith do the same; over their comms, Allura and Shiro are whispering to the leader of the Malchians, which makes Lance want to sigh with relief. The hardest part is done. They can get out now. He waits until the guards pass again to actually let the sigh out, and then steps back into the hallway and makes a face where Keith can see as they walk towards each other. Lance grins at the small smile on Keith's face in response, flashing bright in the darkness and then disappearing a moment later.

"You know, I can't believe this is actually going so--" he starts to say, but then Keith's eyes go wide and he reaches out to shove Lance out of the way and into the wall. Lance makes a surprised noise, which Keith echoes softly. Lance opens his mouth to ask what the _hell_ , but then Keith slides down and collapses at Lance's feet. There's a spray of blood across the front of Lance's armor.

It's so red.

He looks up to see the guards from a moment ago, one holding a sword covered in blood, both grinning smugly at him. Lance's head is spinning slightly, something metallic lingering on his tongue, but his training kicks in automatically -- he pulls out his bayard and fires at them, mechanically aiming for their weakest points. They evade well, but he's been working with Keith and Shiro for weeks now, and they're in a tight space, and his bayard is a fucking sonic cannon. They go down with shock written on their features, the charred smell of burnt flesh hanging in the air.

Keith's body is shifting slightly on the ground as he bleeds out, and the sounds he's making echo in Lance's ears through the comms.

There's a shuffling noise. "Keith?" Shiro asks, sounding slightly panicked, and Lance watches blankly as the guards die quietly and Pidge and Hunk push open the security room door and stumble into the hallway, eyes wide with alarm. "Keith?"

"Shiro," Allura says, "We have to leave now." Lance can barely hear them through the buzzing in his ears. Keith isn't getting up.

"But--" Shiro says, frantic now, and something in Lance snaps and he kneels down next to Keith and tries to pull him up. Keith makes a choked noise, hair wet with blood where it's fallen out from under his helmet, throat covered in redblack. It's smearing all over the floor in wide arcs as Keith shakes on the ground. The wound is in his upper torso, almost his shoulder, gushing blood as he breathes in and out, a terrible choking noise in his throat that all of them hear too close in their ears. There's so much blood, why is there so much so quickly?

"Oh god," he hears Pidge say. "Lance."

"Lance," Keith murmurs, and he blinks open his eyes and looks at Lance. There's blood at the corner of his mouth. It lifts up as he smiles. "Lance."

He tries to lift a hand towards Lance and then his eyes close and he goes limp.

Lance must make some kind of sound, because Shiro makes a pained noise and starts begging for information, but Coran interrupts them all with a loud and firm, "He's not dead. Yet. There's something in his system that he's not reacting very well to. The blade might have been coated in some kind of poison. You need to get him out of there immediately."

Lance struggles to pick him up, arms shaking under the weight, under the terror of hurting Keith more with every little movement, but Keith doesn't make any more sounds. He just hangs in Lance's arms, still and pale.

"I've got him," Hunk says, and pulls Keith over his shoulder as gently as he can. Lance follows behind him, fingertips slick with blood as he tries to grip his bayard, watching the gentle sway of Keith's arms as they move down the hallway.

"So much for stealth," he hears Pidge mutter, before they charge up their bayard and engage the next set of guards coming their way. Lance hangs behind them, firing when he's able and keeping an eye on their rear in case more enemies come. He can't help seeing Keith's eyes, terrified and wide, before he pushed him to the side -- he can't help but think _that should have been me,_ as he watches Hunk carefully maneuvering around the fallen Galra with Keith dripping blood from the tips of his fingers.

He doesn't know how they make it back to where the tunnel under the fence is. Whatever Pidge and Hunk did keeps the cameras and the alarms off, so they only have to deal with who they come across as they're leaving -- they're lucky that most of them seem to go down fairly easily, since the majority of the soldiers don't even have armor on. They've been guarding relatively peaceful farmers up until now; they weren't expecting this kind of force, and they certainly weren't expecting the Paladins of Voltron to show up in the middle of the night.

Lance is trying not to think about how many people have died tonight, about the fact that one more may die before it's all said and done.

Coran is waiting with the Malchians, all of their faces anxious; they don't have any kind of healing pods available here, but the ship they've been using to get around does come with a medical station, and they hurriedly spread Keith out over the surface of the table and carefully start stripping him of his armor.

"How did the weapon cut through the plating so easily? The substance on the sword?" Coran mutters to himself, but Lance's focus is on Keith's face, his parted lips and the splatter of red across his cheek. His helmet has been put to the side while one of the Malchians checks his eyes. Coran runs a scanner over the wound and grimaces at whatever it reads. "He'll need to have his system flushed. The healing pod alone won't fix this."

Shiro and Allura burst into the pod, both panting heavily. Allura has a small Malchian tucked under her arm, dressed in Galra prison clothes, but no one is focused on the person they came here to rescue. Shiro ignores everyone and goes to Keith's side, brows furrowed, mouth tense with fear. Lance automatically steps out of his way, feeling something twisting in his stomach at the expression on Shiro's face.

"Keith," Shiro says, stunned, and all of them wince at the scrape of his voice.

"I think he'll be okay," Coran says hastily, gesturing for Allura to hurry to the cockpit. Hunk follows her, while Pidge shoves alongside Coran and stares intently at everything he's doing. "We just need to get back to the castle so I can have my own medical bay equipment. He's a strong lad, he'll pull through."

His voice sounds sure, sounds confident. Lance thinks sickly of his envy of Keith's confidence, of the way he'd been vaguely annoyed and bewildered at being chosen to work with him. Keith might _die_ because of him. Shiro might lose a brother because of him.

 _Why did you do that?_ he thinks, something in him aching that Keith, pale and still on the bed, might not be able to answer.

 

* * *

 

When Keith finally does wake up, Lance is the closest to the room. It's the day after his midnight trip into the infirmary, and he's dozing in a window seat in the hallway outside, staring out at the stars through half-lidded eyes. Red and black and white flash behind his eyes when he closes them, so he blinks rapidly when they start to drift shut. He's contemplating pinching his cheeks when his pad starts beeping loudly at him.

He stares down at it without comprehension for a moment, but Pidge has thankfully programmed the alert to flash KEITH at him in bright red font, so he scrambles to his feet in a matter of seconds and hurries down to the medbay. He slams a hand on the button and the doors whoosh open in front of him just in time for him to catch Keith trying to sit up in bed.

"Don't," he croaks, and Keith's head jerks up. Everything in Lance goes still at the sight of his eyes open -- it's been days since he's seen them, and it's strange that he's missed them so much when he went months without seeing Keith at all. His eyes are such a deep, dark color, standing out against the shadows under his lashes.

Keith, for once, listens, slumping back down onto the pillow, blinking at him. Now that he has his attention, Lance doesn't know what to say. All of his questions filter out of his head in one swoop, and he just stares at him while Keith looks back at him.

Keith's mouth twitches weakly. His voice is a scratchy whisper when he says, "You're okay."

Lance gapes at him, but the doors fly open behind him again as Pidge and Hunk barrel into the room. Lance steps aside as Shiro follows close behind them, and soon everyone is there, crowded around Keith's bed while he blinks up at them.

"He might be disoriented," Coran warns them, but his voice is warm when he says, "Welcome back, Keith."

"What happened?" Keith asks, barely audible, and Pidge hurriedly shoves a water pack at him; Hunk helps him sit up a little so he can drink from it. Keith grimaces at the movement, and all of them lean forward a little, but he frowns and waves his hand at them to move back. "Tell me," he says, voice a little stronger.

"Well," Allura says carefully, "You were -- injured, and Pidge and Hunk and Lance got you out of there. Unfortunately, that meant we were detected by the Galra, but Pidge and Hunk did manage to set up a distraction that kept most of them out of our way."

"I blew up their waste system," Pidge says smugly, and Keith grins at them, and he suddenly looks a hundred times better, like all it took to make him look alive again was a smile. Lance's stomach clenches.

"We had to use the lions to keep them from following us while we were getting off the planet," Shiro says -- his mouth is twisted into a smile as he looks down at Keith, and Keith quirks his own mouth at him. There's something familiar about the way they're trading wry expressions, something that reminds Lance of talking to his own siblings with glances and raised eyebrows. "It was kind of a rough fight. For once, Red's the least injured out of all of them," Shiro teases.

"Shut up," Keith huffs at him, and Shiro finally laughs a little bit. Something in the room loosens, a final release of tension. Coran is studying Keith's charts with a pleased look on his face, and there's relief in the line of Allura's shoulders. Keith is going to be fine. They all made it through, and everything is going to be just -- _fine_.

Lance watches Keith close his eyes and listen to everyone try to talk to him at once, warmth lingering in the corners of his mouth, and Lance knows everything is okay, but it doesn't quite feel that way.

 

* * *

 

They decide to linger in the solar system they've stopped in, to wait for Keith to get better. Now that he's awake and seems okay, Coran puts him in the healing pod to clear up the lingering damage and expedite his recovery. He comes out later in the day, just as everyone else is getting ready to go to sleep; he can stand up and walk around, but he's weak, leaning heavily against Shiro as they make their way to his room.

"What about the Malchians?" he asks, voice blurred with exhaustion, and Shiro rubs a hand over his messy hair and gently pushes him into bed. Keith makes a soft protesting noise but still folds himself under the covers, eyes already half-lidded. Lance and Pidge linger in the doorway, watching them without interfering. Keith glances their way and Lance has to fight the urge to hide behind Pidge's smaller body.

"Allura and Coran helped them evacuate until we were sure you were okay, and then we took care of the Galra that were still on the planet. We're still in contact with Lexas in case Zarkon retaliates but it seems like they're alright for now." Shiro pats the edge of Keith's covers, grinning when Keith bats a hand at him.

"Good," Keith says, sinking into his bed. His skin looks flushed again, and instead of bandages there's a jagged scar along his torso; it's like months have passed instead of hours. When he was released from the healing pod, Coran said he should only need a few days before he was back to normal. Keith hadn't said anything, but Lance could tell by the petulant look in his eyes that was far too long in his opinion.

"Someone should stay with you tonight, just in case," Shiro says to Keith, and Keith's brow furrows in annoyance.

"That's dumb, don't--"

"I'll stay," Lance blurts, and Keith's eyes snap to his. There's a brief moment of silence, all of them looking at Lance with surprise, but then Pidge snorts.

"He's barely been sleeping anyways, so that'll work." Lance wishes Shiro weren't here so he could put Pidge in a headlock like they deserve.  "I'm going to sleep," Pidge adds, waving their hand. "Goodnight, Keith."

"Night, Pidge," Keith mumbles, his eyes already falling closed. Shiro glances down at him one more time and then moves to leave, pausing to put a hand on Lance's shoulder.

"If you get tired just come get me, okay? Thanks, Lance." Shiro's voice is soft and his eyes are tired and Lance wishes he wouldn't look at him like that, like he's genuinely grateful for Lance, when Lance is the reason Keith is going to have a scar on his body for the rest of his life. He doesn't say anything out loud but he smiles weakly.

For a moment he just watches the two of them walk away, processing the exhausted slump of their shoulders, comparing their weariness to his own, which has become so familiar he doesn't know if he'll recognize himself without it. He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out again.

When Lance finally looks at him, Keith is already asleep, breathing evenly. With the tilt of his head and the curve of his body, it's a completely different experience watching him sleep now than it was before. Keith's nose wrinkles a little when Lance slumps in the chair next to his desk.

Lance doesn't know why he volunteered to stay up and make sure nothing happened to Keith. He doesn't know why he can't just move past everything the way the rest of the team seems to have; even Shiro seems like he's back to his normal level of worry about Keith, rather than the heightened state of anxiety he's been stuck in for days. But Lance can't look at Keith without his stomach clenching, without hearing the slick sound of his body hitting the floor, without wondering why the last thing he'd done was smile.

"Stop."

He jerks his head up from where he's been staring unseeingly at his clenched fists to look at Keith. Keith's eyes are barely slitted open, just dark lashes against dark pupils.

"Stop what?" Lance asks. His voice is softer than he means it to be. It's late enough that he's automatically whispering, like he and Keith are having some kind of sleepover and he's trying to keep his parents from overhearing them talking. Keith sighs, chest rising and falling.

"Thinking," Keith murmurs. "You're keeping me awake."

Lance snorts. "I don't think you're awake right now. I think you're sleep talking." He watches as Keith shifts a little on the bed, curling into himself.

"I'm fine, Lance. Go to sleep," Keith says, closing his eyes. His mouth is curved slightly, not quite a smile. Lance watches him easily fall asleep again, and something in him quiets. He lets his body loosen, lets his eyes close for the first time in days without worrying about what he'll see. He can just barely hear Keith breathing across the room, in and out, in and out.

They both sleep through the whole night, and Lance somehow doesn't dream at all.

 

* * *

 

 Keith does feel better within the next few days, already back to training before he's technically allowed to just because he refuses to stop pushing (Shiro has to lock him in his room when he tries to start training the day after he wakes up, which leads to a lot of arguing through the door until Allura shouts at both of them). Lance watches him from the other side of the training room while he stretches, looking for any signs of overt discomfort. Keith makes a face and yawns, bending over to touch his toes and hold them.

"What are you looking at, dude?" Hunk asks.  He doesn't bother to lower his voice, so Keith turns his head while he's still upside down to look over at them. Lance reflexively elbows Hunk in the side and ignores his grunt of pain.

"Nothing!" he says brightly. "Just. Thinking about nothing, staring off at nothing."

Hunk looks at him doubtfully but goes back to messing with his bayard. "I think I've almost got this bayard thing figured out," he says, aiming at one of the targets on the other side of the room. "There's all kinds of weird neuroprocessors--"

"Do you think he should be practicing?" Lance interrupts, watching Keith pull out his bayard and swing it. Keith doesn't _look_ like he's in pain, but he's also pretty good at keeping a straight face when he needs to. Lance can't tell if he's hiding anything or if he's actually completely fine. He's frowning, but that's kind of his default face when it comes to practicing.

"I mean," Hunk says, "Coran cleared him for it. And I don't think Shiro would let him try if he thought Keith would hurt himself."

"You're right," Lance says. He struggles to pull his eyes away from Keith and looks at Hunk, who's staring at him with raised eyebrows. "Sorry, buddy. What were you saying about the neuro whatevers?"

Hunk's expression clears and he gestures excitedly to his bayard, which isn't transformed for the time being. "They're supposed to choose whatever weapon suits you, but I think we can manipulate them into being different kinds of weapons too. It would probably take some training with those mind meldy helmets we practice with, just to strengthen the pathways, but like, we could give ourselves weapons to suit our situations. Like if Keith needed a ranged weapon, he wouldn't be stuck with his sword, so -- Lance."

"What?" Lance says, whipping his head around. He realizes guiltily that he'd started looking at Keith again. Keith had, at least, started the Gladiator simulation at level one, but Lance can't help but turn and look again as he parries the robot's sword, grunting slightly with each strike.

"Are you okay?" Hunk asks. He's actually whispering this time, which makes Lance tense up. "I mean, I know you were barely sleeping while Keith was out, but you seemed like you were okay the last few days? Except you're acting weird right now."

"I'm fine," Lance says, trying to smile convincingly. "Just. Keeping an eye on him. It doesn't make sense for him to get hurt again so quickly."

"He's fine though?" Hunk says. "Don't worry so much, dude."

"Yep," Lance says cheerfully, waving a hand. "Sorry, let's just. Go practice over here. Hey, bet you can't beat my high score."

Hunk's bayard transforms in his hands to his customary gun and he grins at Lance. "You're on."

Hunk wins easily, but Lance can't exactly explain that his poor performance is because he keeps checking on Keith the whole time, so he laughingly congratulates Hunk and promises to beat him next time. Hunk gives him a look but thankfully doesn't say anything.

He's resetting the targets when he feels someone come up behind him, making the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He turns around to see Keith wiping sweat off his brow with a towel, panting slightly. His cheeks are red with exertion and his chest is rising and falling under his damp shirt. "Um. Hey," Lance says haltingly.

"Your score is terrible," Keith says, wiping over his mouth. Lance bristles.

"Listen, just because you got hurt doesn't mean I won't--" He cuts himself off when he catches the edges of a smile peeking around the towel. "Are you teasing me?" he asks incredulously. He can feel his ears heating up just saying it out loud.

"Maybe next time keep your eyes on the targets?" Keith suggests, and then walks out of the room with the towel slung over his shoulder. Lance stares after him, trying to will his stomach to stop squirming. Next to him, Hunk snorts and then starts laughing.

 

* * *

 

It bothers him, that he doesn't know why Keith would risk his life like that for him. Objectively, he knows that he'd done the same thing for Coran when he'd pushed him out of the way during the bombing of the castle, but Keith willingly stepped into the path of a sword for him. Lance had been bruised and hurt from the explosion, but he hadn't almost bled out on the floor. He hadn't been unconscious for days while poison worked its way through his body. He didn't have a huge scar ripping across his torso.

"We'd all do the same for you," Hunk says, shoving Lance's leg out of the way so he can open a cabinet. Lance is perched on the counter in the kitchen, watching Hunk mess around with the equipment in here so he can maybe find a way to make food that isn't just goo. Hunk peers into the recess of the cabinet and Lance puts a socked foot on his back to mess with him. Hunk doesn't react, but Lance can't actually see his face. He puts his other foot on Hunk's back just to push his luck.

"I mean, I know that in theory, but like, he actually did it," Lance says, tapping his toes in a rhythm. Hunk reaches up and swats a hand at him. "So now I feel weird around him, I guess."

"I think it's less about what he did, and more about who it is," Hunk says, and then says "Oh, hey, I think I could get this thing to make ice cream!"

"Okay, first, that would be awesome, but second, what do you mean, who it is?" Lance asks, frowning down at him even though Hunk can't see it.

"You've always been weird about Keith, dude. Lance and Keith, neck-and-neck?" Hunk finally pulls himself out of the cabinet and raises his eyebrows meaningfully at Lance. "You had a rivalry with him and now you're teammates and he almost died for you. It would kind of be weird if it wasn't weird."

Lance huffs out a breath at him. "Thanks for making the word 'weird' meaningless. Just because we've had a different kind of relationship up til now doesn't mean I'm -- weird about him."

Hunk rolls his eyes. "Okay."

Lance pulls his legs up onto the counter and crosses them. "Are you implying something here, Hunk?"

"Nope," Hunk says blandly, reaching behind him for his tool bag. " Just keep doing whatever you're doing."

"I will," Lance says, crossing his arms too. "Since I'm not doing anything." He ignores the way saying that feels like a lie. Hunk doesn't say anything, digging through his tool bag pointedly. It's quiet for a moment except for the soft clinking noises of Hunk working on whatever's under the cabinet. Hunk makes a triumphant noise.

"Alright! Hey, what flavor ice cream would you want if you could choose any?"

"Cookies and cream," Lance says immediately. "Don't play games with my heart though, Hunk."

"I wouldn't," Hunk assures him. "But I need you to get out of my way."

"For you?" Lance says, batting his lashes. "Anything. I'm just gonna go -- walk around."

"Mmhmm," Hunk hums, giving him a sly look. Lance frowns at him and hops down off the counter, making sure he doesn't step on any of the tools Hunk has scattered across the floor.

He finds himself drifting towards the lounge, not really sure what to do with himself. They've been keeping up with training, but everyone is reluctant to rush back into battle after their last mission, and they haven't received any distress signals. Shiro and Allura have spent most of their free time planning, which means the rest of the paladins have had ample time to work on their own projects.

When he walks into the room, he finds Pidge and Keith sitting together on the couch. Pidge has a computer in their lap, typing rapidly while looking at the screen of the pad Keith is holding up for them, tongue between their teeth and brow furrowed. Keith, for his part, looks incredibly bored, blinking lazily up at the ceiling until the doors whoosh open as Lance enters. His eyes flick over to Lance and then away just as quickly.

"Should you be putting Keith to work like that, Pidge?" Lance asks, flopping down on the opposite couch and slouching down into the cushions. "He's still recovering, after all."

"Would _you_ like to help me then, Lance?" Pidge asks sweetly, not even slowing down their typing. Keith, back to looking up at the ceiling, smiles a little. "I only need him to hold it for like thirty more seconds. I think he'll be fine."

"It's no problem," Keith says. He glances at Lance again, this time lingering. Lance makes himself stare back, even though he can feel his cheeks getting warm at the attention. Keith blinks slowly at him, the barest hint of a smile lingering on his face, and Lance jerks his gaze back to Pidge, annoyed at himself.

"Done," Pidge says, absently pushing their glasses up with a finger. "Thanks, Keith. I'm gonna go plug these numbers into the main system and see if I can't extend the range of the sensors."

"Have fun!" Lance calls, ignoring the soft sound Keith makes as he pulls his legs up onto the couch where Pidge was sitting, stretching out.  "Don't blow anything up again!"

Pidge makes a rude gesture but doesn't reply, and the doors close again behind them, leaving him alone with Keith for the first time since the night Lance slept in his room.

There's an awkward silence, one Lance doesn't quite know how to break. When he's with Keith and the others are there, it's easy to push what happened into a box and seal it away; when he's by himself, he finds himself falling into the same pattern of reliving that moment over and over, of reliving all of the little moments that led up to it. Keith's hand on his arm, the warmth of his body as they pressed together to hide, the strange look in his eyes when they'd been suiting up. The whole night is underscored in his mind, and he can't -- make himself let go of it yet.

"Were you tired a lot, after you were in the healing pod?"

Lance startles and looks at Keith, surprised to see him fully sprawled out on the couch, tucked onto his side. His hair is falling into his eyes, which are closed, and his hands are tucked up next to his chest. He looks surprisingly peaceful, which isn't a word Lance is used to associating with Keith.

"Um," Lance says, a little bewildered, "Yeah, kind of. It was like I was jetlagged, almost."

"Yeah," Keith breathes out, curling up more firmly. "Good to know it's not just me." He already sounds half-asleep, and something in Lance's chest trips a little at how familiar it is to see him this way. He wonders just how many people have seen Keith sleeping, have gotten to see it more than once. Keith opens his eyes just enough to look at Lance, and says, "You could rest too."

Lance isn't really tired, and he isn't sure how to feel about the way his stomach is twisting unrelentingly, but Keith closes his eyes again like Lance has given an answer. He lets out a little sigh, and something warm and heavy drops into Lance's stomach and lingers.

Lance eases himself down onto the couch and curls up on his side, watching Keith sleep for a long time. Somehow, he slips off into a dream where he chases a star through the night sky and manages to catch it just as it burns apart into nothingness; there's something familiar about the feeling of watching it slip through his fingers.

When he wakes up Keith is gone, but there's a very familiar jacket thrown over his shoulders.

 

* * *

 

 "I can't believe you got it to work," Shiro says, not even bothering to hide his disbelief. He's holding a bowl of what looks like chocolate ice cream. Hunk assures them it is chocolate, even though he won't explain exactly how it's come to exist. "Are you sure this is safe to eat?"

"I already ate some," Hunk says, pointing to a bowl of what looks like birthday cake ice cream. "And I'm fine. Coran did a scan and everything!" He pats his stomach and flashes a thumbs up at them, and Lance laughs at the tentative joy on Shiro's face. Pidge shoves their way past a curious Allura to peer at the table behind Hunk.

"You made ice cream!" Pidge says excitedly. "Is there--"

"I made some peanut butter just for you," Hunk says, passing a bowl to them, and they beam at him. Lance takes his own bowl of cookies and cream, baffled that it actually looks like it has pieces of cookies in it. Hunk really is a genius. He watches as Shiro takes a bite of his ice cream and immediately smiles, and Pidge grins as they feed some of their ice cream to the mice.

The ice cream is cold and sweet when he takes a bite. It's not -- quite right, not exactly the same as the ice cream he remembers, but it's close enough. It's different in the way that sometimes you try a different brand, or one made with non-dairy ingredients, but it's _ice cream_ , the first food they've had that reminds him of Earth since they left. It makes him think of warm days on the boardwalk, sticky residue on his hands and stealing bites from his younger brother's cone when he wasn't looking. His throat closes up and he has to blink rapidly to keep tears from forming in his eyes, because he's _not_ going to start crying over something like this.

He swallows hard and glances around the room. "Where's Keith?" he asks.

"His room," Shiro says, offering a spoonful of his ice cream to Allura, who wrinkles her nose at it. ("The color," she whispers to Coran, who shrugs his shoulders.) "Or he was the last time I checked on him."

Lance doesn't know much about how Keith feels about Earth, or if he misses anything from there, or if he even likes ice cream. But he thinks he should get to experience this too, this little reminder of home, of what they're all fighting to protect. "I'll take some to him," he offers. Pidge looks up at him and tilts their head. He takes another bite of his own ice cream and savors the flavor on his tongue rather than look back at them.

Hunk is a good friend and doesn't say anything, just points to a bowl that looks like plain vanilla. Lance takes it and walks out, eating his own ice cream as he goes and trying to ignore the nerves springing up in his stomach.

When he knocks on Keith's door, his teeth are stinging with cold and he's glaring down at the half-melted mess of vanilla in the bowl. The door whooshes open and Keith stares at him, then at the ice cream in his hands, and then walks back into his room, waving a hand. Lance scowls after him and follows him into the room.

"Hunk made ice cream and I thought you might want some," Lance says, thrusting the bowl at Keith, who takes it with a furrowed brow. "Sorry it's kind of melted," he adds, even though that's not his fault. Keith takes a spoonful of the mush and sticks it into his mouth. His eyes close and he makes a soft, pleased noise.

Something about that noise makes Lance's stomach drop to his feet. He feels his cheeks heat and his heart rate picks up and he thinks to himself, vaguely horrified, _Oh no_.

Keith opens his eyes as he pulls the spoon out. They're thoughtful, and Lance thinks he's spent too much time looking at Keith's eyes to be able to tell that. "It's good," Keith says. "Vanilla's not my favorite kind though. What do you have?" He licks the back of the spoon and Lance feels his ears start to heat up.

"Cookies and cream," Lance says, holding his own half-empty bowl out. "You can have it."

Keith's mouth tips up into a half-smile. He takes the bowl and peers into it, stirring a little. "Thanks," he says.

"No problem," Lance says. He has to resist the urge to press his hands to his face to feel if his cheeks are as hot as they feel. Keith either doesn't notice or chooses not to say anything, thankfully. "I'm just gonna--"

"Want to share?" Keith asks, gesturing to the bowl. Lance wants to say _yes_ , which is somewhat terrifying on top of the pounding of his his heart, so he shakes his head rapidly, backing up a little.

"That's okay, I'm gonna -- I'm gonna go -- shower," he stammers. "Enjoy the ice cream."

Keith's brow furrows as Lance awkwardly hurries out of the room, and Lance knows he's being weird, he knows that Keith is probably confused as hell, but Lance is going through somewhat of a crisis right now.

He closes himself in his room and hurries to the bathroom, turning on the faucet and splashing water on his heated face. When he feels cooler, he looks up at the mirror and stares at his own wide eyes. His face is still red, and his expression is somewhat desperate. He points to himself in the mirror.

"You don't like Keith," he says out loud. "You do not have a crush on Keith."

His reflection dutifully repeats his words, but it sounds weak and unconvincing. Lance groans and covers his face with his hands.

 

* * *

 

Lance wakes up the next day convinced it was all a fluke. Keith is objectively attractive,  and Lance has been really focused on him lately because of the whole injury thing, and that's all it is. He just needs to keep acting normal and like nothing ever happened, basically.

Keith finds him first thing after breakfast and asks if he wants to train together. His face is faintly pink, like he's already been practicing. "I just thought, you know," Keith says, shrugging his shoulders. "It might be good to work together in case we get paired again."

Lance hasn't even considered the next mission, or whether or not he might get paired with Keith again. What if something happens on the next one too? He knows that every mission they undertake has the possibility of one of them getting hurt or worse, but if Keith gets hurt while they're partnered up again -- Lance's stomach churns at the thought.

"Yeah, sure," he says, because there is no way he's letting something like that happen again. Keith's face clears and he smiles at Lance. Lance realizes he's been doing that a lot, and that it's actually a really nice smile, and his stomach stops churning and starts fluttering. _No_ , he thinks firmly. _No, we're teammates and friends and that's it_.

Training actually goes well, which is surprising. Lance has trained with Keith before, but always in the group, usually with Shiro guiding both of them. This is just the two of them, weaving around each other as they face the Gladiator, letting each other advance and retreat as the situation calls for it. They set it to one of the easier levels and then increase the difficulty as they become more comfortable with each other.

Level five is when things start getting tricky. Keith has already been thrown across the room once (thankfully rolling immediately to his feet), and Lance was knocked back and almost impaled before Keith distracted the Gladiator. They're both panting, and there's sweat rolling down the side of Lance's face and the dip of his back as he and Keith square off against the robot advancing on them. Lance keeps trying to shoot at it, but it can block incredibly quickly, and Keith's sword isn't doing as much damage against the higher level robot as it did on level four.

"Let me go in low," Keith says, and Lance obligingly pulls back as Keith ducks under the Gladiator's sword to swipe at his feet. The robot dodges, but Keith's swipe was a feint, and he lands a solid kick to the Gladiator's legs. As soon as it stumbles, arms flailing, Lance lines up a shot and nails him in the head, shouting excitedly as he dissolves into pixels.

"Nice!" Lance whoops,  grinning as Keith straightens up from his crouch and shoots him a triumphant smile. "I think we've got the timing down!"

"Seems so," Keith agrees. "Nice shot."

"Thank you," Lance says, bowing with a flourish. "I think that's got to be one of the best times for the level, right?"

They check, crowding around the screen for the program -- Allura, of course, has the highest three times for level five, but they've gained the fourth slot. Lance cheerfully nudges Keith with his shoulder, and then realizes how close they are when Keith turns to look at him. This close, Lance can see individual flecks of color in Keith's eyes, lighter than the rest of them. His face is still flushed, and there's sweat above his upper lip -- Lance's eyes duck to his mouth and then back up to his eyes before he realizes what he's doing. Keith's face does something complicated, brow furrowing, eyes narrowing, but then his expression smooths out again.   

"Um," Lance says. Keith doesn't step away, so they stay pressed close together. Lance doesn't know if he _can_ move; he's fixated on the curve of Keith's mouth, the warmth his skin gives off where they're pressed together, the way his hair is curling at the ends because it's grown out. His heart must be in his throat, because he feels like he's choking. "Good -- good job. We did a good job."

"Yep," Keith says, and then thankfully steps away to put up his bayard. Lance lets out a quiet breath and watches him stoop to pick up his jacket where he'd flung it onto the floor earlier. "Amazing what you can do when you pay attention to where you're aiming," Keith adds, smirking. He effortlessly dodges the half-hearted swing Lance aims at him. "I bet we can beat Allura's times if we keep at it," he continues. He slings his jacket over his shoulder and looks at Lance with raised eyebrows. Lance swallows.

It's a bad idea. Agreeing to spend more time with Keith alone. Even now, Lance can feel the way his pulse is picking up, can feel the urge to reach out and smooth a stray lock of hair back into place over Keith's forehead. _You don't have a crush_ , he tells himself again desperately.

Keith tilts his head to the side and blinks, curious and confused, and Lance blurts out, "Yeah, of course."

Keith's sudden smile curls from the edges in, warming his entire face. _Stop it,_ Lance thinks wildly. "Alright," Keith says. "Meet you here tomorrow morning, same time?"

"Sure," Lance says. His voice thankfully isn't as strangled as he feels. Keith heads out of the practice room with one last look at him; Lance waits for an entire minute after the doors close behind Keith before he flops onto the ground and groans out loud.

"Why do I do this to myself?" he asks the empty room. There's no response, so Lance presses his hands to his burning cheeks and waits for his heart rate to settle.

 

* * *

 

"I'd say you have a crush, dude," Hunk tells him bluntly. Lance makes a pained noise, which causes Pidge, who's crawling all over Blue's inner workings, to laugh loudly. "Also, we thought you were coming up here to help us work on Blue, not ask us about your feelings for Keith."

"Can't I do both?" Lance asks innocently, although he hasn't picked up any of the tools. Pidge pokes their head out of a panel and rolls their eyes.

"Lance, just admit to yourself how you feel and leave. You're making it hard for Hunk to concentrate."

"I can concentrate on two things at once, Pidge," Hunk says amiably, and Lance pats him on the shoulder as a reward for the solidarity. "But seriously, just admit it and move on."

"It's not that easy!" Lance protests. "What if this is some sort of -- hero worship thing, _not_ that I'm calling him a hero. But what if I just like him because he almost died saving me? What if I just think he's really cute? What if I'm making something out of nothing?"

Pidge crawls out of the panel completely and stands up, putting their hands on their hips. The grime and dirt in their hair doesn't detract from the serious expression on their face. "Look, you've had a weird thing with Keith since we all ended up together out here, and you're not the kind of person to make something out of nothing. If you think it's just a fluke, fine. But I bet you're just afraid to admit that you care about Keith as more than a friend, because then you have to wonder how he feels about you."

"Pidge," Hunk says reprovingly, but he doesn't sound like he disagrees.

And the thing is, they're right. Lance has always had a pretty firm grasp on his own feelings, on his own desires and hopes. Ever since he looked up at the night sky and realized just how many things were waiting up there to be discovered, he's wanted to fly and be the one to find them. Ever since he got into the Garrison, one of the most prestigious training schools in the country, he's wanted to be the best, even if it meant clawing his way to the top, even if it meant swallowing every curse and snarl he wanted to throw at the people who tried to push him back down. And now -- and now he likes Keith. So he wants Keith to like him back.

But he still hasn't been able to even bring up Keith almost dying for him, and it's been weeks since that happened. Part of him is terrified to talk about it, because he's finally been able to sleep through the night, and it's easier and easier to look at Keith and not remember how pale and blank he'd been, laying in the medbay. Part of him is worried that if he brings it up, all of that will come back.

Part of him is worried about what Keith might say about almost dying for him.

So bringing up his feelings? His apparently abundant and overwhelming feelings for a fellow paladin who, up until the last few weeks, he hasn't spent a whole lot of alone time with? Lance has misgivings.

And yes, he's reluctant to think about how Keith feels about him. Obviously he cares; they're friends, and they have been for a while. You honestly can't live with someone for weeks, in a castle in space, and not become friends. And Keith _saved_ him. But there's a difference between caring the way you would for any other human being, and caring because you want to _be_ with them. What if Keith just sees him as Lance, fellow paladin of Voltron? Lance, former classmate who also is stranded in space and unable to get home? Lance, that guy who caused him to get stabbed in the chest?

"Okay," Pidge says, after it's been quiet too long. Lance looks up at them to see them frowning at him. "I can see that maybe I've given you too much to think about.  Honestly, Lance, it's not that complicated. You have feelings. You can choose to ignore them, or you can do something about it."

"I know," Lance says, because he does. He sighs. "I know, I just..." He trails off, unsure how to finish his sentence.

"It's okay to be scared, dude," Hunk says. "But the way I see it, you'll never know until you try. We're out here for who knows how long, and we're all scared. You should do what makes you happy."

Pidge nods a little, and Hunk looks up from the wires he's messing with to shoot Lance a smile. Lance swallows hard, suddenly more grateful than ever that he's still got Hunk and Pidge; if he was going through all of this with complete strangers, he's not sure what he would do. He already misses home more than he can stand sometimes. Without his friends, he's not sure he'd be able to handle all of this.

"Thanks," he says quietly, smiling back at them. He clears his throat, coughing a little. "So uh, what can I do to help make my pretty girl feel better?" He pats the main console, and Blue purrs at him loudly. Hunk scoffs up at the ceiling.

"I've been in here working on you for two weeks and we've barely talked, but he drops a cheesy compliment and suddenly you're all purrs?" Hunk shakes his head. "I see how it is."

"Blue's my best girl," Lance says, grinning. "She appreciates my lines."

"Maybe you should call Keith 'pretty boy' and see how that goes for you?" Pidge suggests, and then bursts into laughter when he starts choking on air.

 

* * *

 

Lance leans over the screen in the main control room, spinning the star charts around to see if he can find anything familiar. It's the middle of the night, and he can't sleep again. For once, it hadn't been a nightmare about Keith dying -- he'd dreamt that he was too late to save Earth, that when they tried to go home they couldn't find any sign that the planet had ever existed. There had just been debris and empty black space where there should have been an entire world. He'd woken up shaking, sweat sticking his shirt to his back and feet tangled up in his sheets.

He's done this multiple times before, using the scanner to reassure himself that Earth was still there, unhurt and unchanged. Sometimes he sits and stares at it for hours, the small continents melting into each other, the familiar curves of his country edging into the ocean. He can't touch them, but he can look -- can see the pinprick of Varadero, can imagine all of the times he's swam or surfed in the ocean, can picture burying his sisters in the sand and chasing his brothers around their yard.

Lance touches the hologram briefly and then spins Earth away. While he's up, he might as well start looking for any distress signals for them to track down, or any signs of Galra activity. It's tedious working, plotting coordinates and scanning dead space, but it distracts him. He's so absorbed in what he's doing that he doesn't realize there's someone standing next to him.

"Couldn't sleep?"

Lance jumps in his seat and turns to see Keith standing above him; his hair is messy, like he's been running his hands through it, and his shirt is skewed to the side slightly, exposing a slice of his shoulder. He looks like he's just rolled out of bed.

Lance glances quickly at his eyes -- they're alert, intent on his face, and he instinctively turns back to the scanner and starts fiddling with the controls. "Yeah, uh, just, you know, regular insomnia. Sometimes my body forgets when night and day is on this ship," he says. Keith hums noncommittally and leans over to look at what he's doing. "I just wanted to see if anyone was sending out a signal in our surrounding area," Lance explains.

"Find anything?" Keith asks.

"Not yet," Lance says, leaning away from the screen and stretching. He closes his eyes and sighs as his back pops, smoothing his shirt back down from where it rode up. "Lots of random noises but nothing that's a definite signal."

"Oh," Keith says in a weird voice. Lance opens his eyes to see Keith looking down at the screen again with a fixed expression on his face.

"Why are you up?" he asks, curious. Keith is the type to stay up late, but when he does go to sleep he crashes and sleeps hard. He's actually a pretty terrible morning person, all rumpled hair and sullen face, at least until he wakes up enough to get something in his system. Lance is trying to convince himself it's not adorable.

"I was -- I just couldn't sleep. I thought I heard you leaving your room earlier, so I wanted to check up on you." Keith glances up at him through his lashes and Lance busies himself with the scanner again, glad that the dim lighting means Keith probably can't see his blush.

"Check up on me?" Lance repeats.

Keith shifts a little and then leans against Lance's chair. When Lance looks up at him, he can see the jagged edge of the scar just creeping above the collar of his shirt. It's a shade paler than Keith's skin is, a gentle slope of raised skin. It disappears under his shirt but Lance knows how deep it goes, how wide the gash is.

"I feel like things have been -- weird with you lately," Keith says. "And I thought it might have to do with me."

Lance finally jerks his eyes away from Keith's scar to look at him, flushing red. Keith's brow is furrowed, and his mouth is turned down. It's too dark to really see his eyes in here. Lance can't tell what he's implying at all. "What do you mean?"

"Ever since the prison thing--"

"Since you almost died, you mean," Lance cuts in. His voice remains remarkably steady, which is impressive considering he suddenly feels like his stomach is trying to shake its way out of his body.

"But I didn't. I'm fine, Lance," Keith says, touching his shoulder. It's a tentative gesture, one that Keith takes back almost immediately, but something about the pressure of his fingertips against Lance's skin settles him. "You don't have to keep worrying about me, or -- or doing things for me. Watching me." The edges of Keith's voice are rough with frustration.

"I wasn't--" Lance starts to say, but he knows it's futile to really argue. Everyone on the ship probably knows how closely Lance has been watching Keith these past few weeks.  He swallows hard, then says, "I know you're fine. It was just, you know, kind of touch and go for a minute there."

"Shiro said there was something on the blade," Keith says. "Some kind of poison."

"It made you bleed out faster," Lance says softly. "It wouldn't leave your system for days and they had to synthesize new blood because none of us matched your type. It was awful." Keith sucks in a breath like he wants to say something, but Lance can't stop talking about it. In his mind, he pictures the blood dripping over the side of the medical bed and to the floor as they flew in the cargo pod to the castle. How one of the Malchians had whispered, horrified, _It's so red_. "You were -- Keith, you were so still it was like you were already dead. We were afraid you were in a coma at first because you wouldn't respond to anything. Coran didn't want to put you in the healing pods because he wasn't sure if your brainwaves would be altered, so we had to just wait. And _wait._ And hope that you would wake up."

Lance's hands are clenched so tightly that his nails are cutting into his palms, so he makes himself let go. Keith doesn't say anything, still standing far too close, close enough that Lance can hear him breathing. Lance's heartbeat is tripping so fast he worries that Keith can hear it over the quiet.

"I know you're fine," Lance repeats, forcing himself to look up at Keith. Keith's mouth is a slash in the dim lighting, twisted across his face. His hair is falling into his eyes, so Lance can't see  them well. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't," Keith says immediately, shaking his head. "I just thought maybe you were -- nevermind. It's late. You should go to bed."

"You should too," Lance counters, flicking away from the deep space scanners and automatically pulling up Earth again. He knows couldn't sleep if he tried, but he's too distracted and wound up to search for signals right now. Earth blooms in front of them, spinning slowly through the projection of stars and planets.

Keith exhales slowly, and then sits on the ground, wrapping his arms around his knees. He looks smaller, younger with his too-big shirt and his messy hair and his wide eyes fixated on the planet glowing in front of them. Lance looks at him and feels his heart yearn, just as much as it yearns for the home he can only see through a hologram. It's terrifying to want someone who's so close, terrifying to know what it would feel like to lose them before you even have them.

 _You should do what makes you happy_. Lance breathes in and then out again, soft enough that Keith can't hear. He slides out of the seat and sits next to Keith on the ground, stretching his legs in front of him. They aren't touching but Lance can feel the heat Keith is giving off; he doesn't dare to look at him, but he can feel that Keith is just as aware of his body as he's aware of Keith's. They sit quietly looking up at the world spinning in front of them, as minutes tick over into an hour, until Keith tips over and leans against Lance's side. When Lance glances down, Keith is fast asleep, mouth parted and nose scrunched up, breath fluttering the ends of his hair. Lance's heart does one slow roll in his chest and he sighs, scoots a little closer, and waits for the rest of the castle to wake up.

 

* * *

 

Lance wakes up in his room to the sound of Allura over the intercom. "Paladins, please report to the control room. We have a new mission."

Lance's eyes feel like they're covered in quicksand as he pulls himself out of bed and searches for his clothes. He doesn't know how he got back to his room, doesn't remember anything at all past contemplating whether or not he should rest his head on Keith's for a moment. He chooses not to worry too much about it -- he can't add something so trivial to his growing list of things he can't stop thinking about.

He meets Hunk in the hallway, smothering a yawn behind his hand. Hunk gives him a look as they make their way towards the control room. "Did you not get any sleep last night?"

"A little," Lance says noncommittally.

"Does this have anything to do with Pidge saying they heard Keith coming back to his room at like five in the morning?" Hunk asks, and Lance flushes pink and doesn't say anything. "Dude," Hunk says, laughing.

"Nothing happened," Lance says quickly. "We just -- talked."

"And?" Hunk presses, stretching the word out inquisitively. Lance ducks his head and walks a little faster.

"And nothing? We just talked and sat there for a while, and he -- fell asleep on me," Lance says. He rolls his eyes when Hunk makes a soft cooing noise at him. "Stop."

"I'm not doing anything," Hunk says innocently as they walk into the control room. Everyone else has already arrived, and they all look up at the two of them. Keith is standing next to Pidge, talking quietly, but his eyes find Lance's immediately. Lance smiles crookedly at him, and Keith's mouth quirks back in response. He feels warmth slide into his stomach and linger.

"The princess has located a distress signal close by," Shiro says, waving Lance and Hunk closer. "It looks like a small band of refugees who managed to escape from one of his prisons but don't know where to run because Zarkon has destroyed their home planets."

Allura's eyes go dark as she stares down at the screen, fists clenching tightly. "We can house them in the castle for a while, but I've already reached out to the other survivors we've rescued. The Arusians and Malchians say they should be able to take in refugees, although I'm reluctant to burden them with more risk."

"Everyone is at risk, princess," Coran says gently. "Making sure we stick together and look out for each other is all we can do."

Lance looks up at Keith, who's chewing on his lower lip while he watches the projection of the stars spinning around outside. It's ridiculous how easily his gaze switches to Keith, how much he just wants to know what he's doing, or what he's thinking. Keith's gaze focuses and his eyes snap to Lance, who startles a little, and then to Shiro and Allura.

"Lance was scanning for signals last night and didn't find anything. Can we trust this?" he asks, uncrossing his arms. Everyone turns to look at Lance, who straightens under their scrutiny and hopes that his bedhead isn't noticeable.

"Why were you were scanning so late?" Allura asks, tilting her head. Lance flushes a little under her intense stare.  

"I, uh, couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd try to be useful. I never found anything, but I did -- I did get distracted halfway through, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that I just missed it," Lance says. He doesn't add that Keith is the one who distracted him; no one else comments on the fact that Keith knows where he'd been, either, although Shiro does look pointedly at Keith, who avoids his gaze.

"We've been in this kind of situation before," Hunk says pointedly, and everyone groans a little. The situation with Rolo and Nyma is one that Hunk refuses to let lie, no matter how much everyone has promised to trust him in the future. "We should just be cautious no matter what."

"That sounds like an agreeable course of action," Allura says, clapping her hands together. "For now, we'll suit up and prepare to take on new guests, in the assumption that everything is as it seems."

"I'll set the ship on the course. We should be there in about thirty Earth minutes," Coran tells them. There's a flurry of motion as Allura heads out of the room, Hunk and Pidge following in her wake. Shiro bends over to whisper something in Keith's ear and then raises his eyebrows, which makes Keith scowl and elbow at him. Shiro's laughter trails after him as he heads out of the room. Lance starts to walk out himself and pretends not to notice when Keith falls into step with him.

"Sleep well?" Keith asks. He sounds almost amused, and when Lance checks, there's a brightness to his eyes that belies the straight face he's wearing. Lance's stomach jumps, because Keith looks almost _fond_ right now.

"Probably not as well as you," Lance shoots back. He watches, inwardly delighted, as a pink flush spreads over Keith's cheeks. Keith clears his throat as they turn the corner to the hallway where their rooms are, lingering in front of his own. He opens his mouth and then closes it, looking somewhat hesitant.

"Be careful," Lance blurts, and Keith stares at him, surprised. "I mean -- I know it's just a pick up mission, but you should -- you should be careful."

Keith's smile is slow to unfurl, but breathtaking in its genuineness. Lance wants to press his mouth to the curve of his lips more than anything. "You too," Keith says, before he turns in place and walks into his room.

Lance lingers outside his door for a moment, until Pidge bolts past him, already suited up, and shouts "Lance, stop mooning and let's go!"

He makes a promise to himself to do something terrible to Pidge's shampoo before the day is over.

 

* * *

 

They decide to stick together as a group when they land on the planet the refugees have hidden themselves on. There's a small waterfall next to the small campsite that they've created outside of the stolen pod they landed here with, and Lance is immediately taken with it. He wonders if they have time for a quick swim, if he could convince Keith to come with him and jump off the top. Hunk is afraid of heights, and Pidge probably hisses when wet, but Keith might be up for the challenge.

The campsite is pitiful, a small fire pit and bits of wood and rocks to sit on. They've been living out of the pod they stole, trying to subsist on food found in the small forest next to them or fished out of the pond the waterfall lives in, but they're all undernourished from being imprisoned, and one of them has caught a fever from being exposed to something on the planet.

Out of the dozen or so escaped prisoners, there are seven different species of aliens waiting for them, but none of them have a home planet left. That means seven planets out there completely annihilated, wiped out of existence. One of the prisoners is a youngish being, and they burst into tears when Allura gently asks if they're sure their planet is gone.

"I saw it," they say, sobbing into their hands. "As they were leading us to the cells, I saw them -- the entire planet was destroyed -- they drained it all so there was no -- no use for it." Another prisoner gently wraps her hands around their shoulders and leads them away to calm them down.

"We hust want to find somewhere to make our homes again," one of the prisoners says, spreading his four arms. Allura has a pinched expression on her face, and Lance knows there's fury blossoming under her skin, the kind of fury that comes from knowing the horrors that were visited upon you continue to exist, but Shiro places a hand on her arm and says, "We're happy to help."

Allura tenses and then visibly forces herself to relax. Next to Lance, Hunk lets out a sigh and moves to help some of the other refugees start packing up their belongings to transfer them to the castle. Pidge is already talking to the prisoner who stole the ship about any information they might have found, and whether or not there are records stored on the pod. Lance nudges Keith so they can go help Hunk, but Keith is frowning at the prisoner.

"How long have you been here?" Keith asks him, and he sighs, shaking his head.

"Almost two weeks. We've been broadcasting the whole time, we were so glad when you pinged us last night."

Lance tenses, feeling Keith do the same next to him. "Last night?" he asks. "I was scanning last night but I didn't ping anyone. We only got your signal about an hour ago."

The prisoner's brow furrows, and one of his hands wraps around their middle in confusion. "Yes, we received your transmission then, but we also received an acknowledgement hours and hours ago. We assumed you were verifying our position and making sure we were who we said. We did not begrudge you that."

"I never sent anything," Allura murmurs, "And the castle does not acknowledge signals without being told."

"About two weeks ago was our last encounter with them," Shiro says, frowning. "Was it -- how did you escape?"

"There was -- there was a malfunction in the door -- we took our chances and made our way to the escape pods -- what's wrong?" the prisoner asks, confused.

All of them go rigid, and Keith and Lance pull out their bayards, spinning in unison, familiar now with the motion of each other's bodies. Around them, the refugees startle and jerk back as Pidge and Hunk do the same automatically, everyone facing out and away from the pod, looking for danger.

"Is this another trap?" Hunk yells. "Because if it is, I'm voting we don't do this anymore."

"Princess, please," the prisoner pleads, raising his hands, "This is not a trap. We just want to find somewhere to call home, we just want to start our lives over."

"I do not doubt that," Allura says, gesturing for him to stay behind her.

"They're bait," Shiro mutters, just as the Galra sentries burst out of the forest. There are a hundred of them easily, all carrying various weapons, all armored and rushing at them without hesitation. They're silent except for the sound of lasers charging up, swords being pulled out, metal joints clanging.

"Coran!" Allura shouts, and his frantic Altean cursing comes over their comms as they start trying to usher the aliens towards the castle. "What's going on?"

The majority of the prisoners run without hesitation, but some of them are frozen with fear at the sight of the robots, and Pidge, whipping out their shield, starts shoving them towards the entrance ramp. Lance swallows a hysterical laugh at the sight of an alien twice their size cowing under their glare and stumbling along.

"I'm sorry princess," Coran says, "For some reason we weren't able to pick them up on the scanner, I don't know why--"

"They don't have any ships coming at us," Pidge yells. "Maybe they're here alone?"

"That would explain why they didn't show up I guess," Hunk says, letting loose a shot that knocks several of the sentries over. Lance lines up his own shot, aiming for the weaker points of their armor, for their legs when he has the opportunity. He drops four before Coran speaks again.

"They may have been alone originally, but I've got a fleet of ships incoming in about ten minutes. We need to evacuate and get out of here immediately!"

Allura gathers the weaker prisoners under her arms, tucking them against her protectively as Shiro guards her back. Keith is standing in front of both of them, deflecting shots that come their way with his shield, sword held aloft uselessly. Lance wishes desperately that Hunk had figured out how to change their weapons at will, that Keith had some measure of offense right now, but he reminds himself that he can't focus on Keith right now. He can't hold his own shield because of his gun, so he has to keep dodging and weaving through through the shots. There are so _many_ , more than they've seen at one time. His heartbeat is pounding in his ears, adrenaline turning his veins into fire -- he's terrified but he thinks he might also be a little bit exhilarated.

"Shields are up!" Coran shouts, and the world glimmers about forty yards in front of Lance, a shimmering haze that solidifies into the particle barrier. The shields _are_ up, but the edge of the line only manages to stop half of them from coming any closer. The sentries are close enough now that Pidge and Keith can engage them, which they do immediately, Keith cleaving two in half with one swipe.

"Is that everyone?" Shiro asks, holding his own shield in front of the last prisoner scrambling on board. Lance glances at them as Hunk slams the line of sentries in front of them with cannon fire. The last person is the prisoner with four arms, and he jerks to a halt, eyes widening.

"Jessa," he says, voice shaking. "Jessa went onto the ship to download information for the Green Paladin. They -- I don't know if they came out--"

"I'll go," Shiro says, turning to jump down from the ramp. He has to focus on the battle again, but Lance catches sight of him out of the corner of his eyes as he ducks and weaves towards the ship.

"Shiro," Keith says, breathing hard over the comms, "I'll cover the entrance, keep anyone from following."

Lance know's it's stupid, but he can't help but look at Keith -- Keith, jumping over the remains of the sentry he's slashed in half, sprinting towards the ship as the robots try to follow after Shiro. His brow is furrowed, his sword tucked close to his side, and Lance's heart lurches even as Keith dodges under the strike one of the sentries aims at him.

"Lance, focus up!" Hunk shouts, and Lance jerks his gaze forward just in time to catch Hunk using his gun to smash the head of a sentry about to take aim at Lance. Lance winces and waves a hand at Hunk in thanks, who salutes him back and turns back to firing at the sentries still advancing on them.

"I've found them," Shiro says over the comms. "Keith, make sure I'm covered, we're about to exit. I'll wait for your go ahead."

"I've got the other side," Pidge says, weaving their grappling hook through a row of sentries and tripping them up. They activate the electricity and the robots fry immediately, sending off sparks."Keith, your left."

"I see them," Keith grunts, engaging the first sentry and using his shield to ward off the one that tries to sneak up on him. He twists around, dodging and rolling across the ground to stab the sentry in the chest, planting his foot and ripping the sword out. Lance can hear him panting for breath, but he manages to say, "Shiro, you're good, go."

Shiro's out of the pod like a bullet, a small form tucked under his arm, shield held at an awkward angle to cover their body as best as he can. Keith stands with his feet planted as Shiro runs past him, barely sparing his brother a glance. Lance shoots another three sentries and looks up in time to lock eyes with Keith across the clearing.

"Alright?" Lance can't help but ask, and Keith rasps out a laugh.

"Yeah," he says, spinning his sword in a little circle, grinning. "You?"

Lance turns back to where the last dozen or so sentries are lining up to attack. "Never better," he says, relieved that they're going to be okay, that the end is in sight, that for once it might all go to plan. They've still got to get out of here before the fleet shows up, but Allura can pull up a wormhole in no time, and they've saved the prisoners.

Shiro clears the ramp, followed by Pidge.

"Keith, Hunk, Lance, get inside," Allura commands. The ship is already starting to prepare for take off, engines venting steam; Lance and Hunk hurry, firing blindly over their shoulders at the remaining sentries, Lance watching carefully as Keith hurries their way. Lance instinctively slows to make sure they don't get too far ahead, and Hunk pulls away and hurries up the ramp. Laser fire is still pinging around them, but it's barely anything compared to what it was earlier.

"Incoming ships in five minutes," Coran warns. Lance breathes a sigh of relief and turns back to check on Keith just in time for Keith to slam into his body, shoving him to the ground. There's the acrid smell of something burning in the air.

"What the--" Lance gasps, and Keith hisses between his teeth but pushes Lance back to his feet. He's got a hand over his side, gripping his ribs. Lance's blood goes icy cold, and he reaches out to grab Keith's arm, horrified. This is some kind of joke, some kind of mistake, because this is not happening again, Keith is not--

"I'm fine," Keith grits out, "Seriously, just run, we're almost inside."

"Keith--" Lance says, but cuts himself off and just hauls Keith up as gently as he can, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him along.

"We're inside," Hunk says, coming up on Keith's other side as soon as they're inside, helping him to lean against the wall. The ramp shuts behind them immediately. "The faster you guys can get us out of here the better. Also, uh, Keith is hurt again."

"Keith?" Shiro says, sounding worried, but Keith just huffs out a sigh and rolls his eyes. He pulls his helmet off and tosses it to the side, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. His mouth is tight, but he doesn't look like he's about to fall unconscious, and there's no blood on his face or chest. Lance's stomach is still clenching tightly, heart wrenching in his chest.

"I'm fine," Keith says, carefully touching his side. There's scorch marks all over the armor plating, but it doesn't look like it's been punctured. "I think my ribs might be bruised," he admits, ghosting his fingers over his side.

"Shiro," Allura says over the comms, "Please help secure the refugees before we make the jump. Hunk, can you help him escort them to the medical bay?"

Hunk turns to look at Keith, who scowls. "I'm _fine_ ," Keith repeats, and Hunk holds up his hands, placating, and turns back to the aliens and gestures for them to follow him. They do, looking back over their shoulders at Keith, who is slumping against the wall, and Lance, who is clenching his fists and waiting for them to leave.

As soon as the last person is around the corner and they're alone, Lance whirls on Keith, jerking his own helmet off and throwing it across the room. "What is _wrong_ with you?" he asks, furious. Keith jerks back, mouth dropping.

"What?" Keith asks, brow furrowing.

"Do you have a death wish? Are you just constantly waiting for me to fuck up so you can jump on a grenade for me?" Lance asks; his blood is pumping wild and chaotic in his veins, boiling hot as his fear and his worry and his anger mix.

"No?" Keith says, bewildered. His hand falls away from his side and he clenches his own fists, frowning at Lance. "You were going to get hit, so I just--"

"Took the hit for me?" Lance asks wildly. Keith closes his mouth and turns his head to the side. "Keith, what the fuck. Why?"

"Why what?" Keith asks, not meeting his eyes. Lance knows he should be making Keith go to the medbay, knows that they're probably about to start the jump through the wormhole, knows that there's a time and a place for this kind of conversation and he's had plenty of opportunities to have it before now, but he can't do this anymore. He can't let Keith keep getting hurt without knowing.

"Why are you letting yourself get hurt for me?" Lance asks, just as the ship shakes a little and they both sway into the wall. Keith winces and presses his hand flat against the wall to balance. "Keith," Lance says, a little desperate.

"Of course I'm going to protect you," Keith says. "We're paladins, that's what we do--"

"Well stop it!" Lance shouts. Keith jerks back, gaping at him. "I don't want you to, so stop!"

Keith's jaw clenches and he glares at Lance. "No."

"Keith," Lance says, running a hand through his hair, close to pulling handfuls of it, "I can't -- you can't, okay, I don't want to be the reason something happens to you so just--"

"You don't get to make that choice," Keith interrupts.

"I'm asking you to not get hurt for me, why can't you just do that--"

"You know why!" Keith bursts out, and then cringes, hunching his shoulders. Lance's mouth closes and he stares as a flush works its way over Keith's cheeks. His heart is loud in his ears, pounding in a staccato rhythm as he looks at Keith, who refuses to meet his gaze.

"I--" Lance stammers, and Keith closes his eyes.

"You have to know," Keith says quietly. "How I feel."

 _What?_ Lance thinks, stunned. It takes him a moment to comprehend what Keith is saying, but once he does, he flushes entirely red. His face feels like it's on fire, like he's burning up into cinders -- Keith is implying -- Keith is saying that he --

"What are you two _doing_?" Pidge yells, bursting into the hallway, glasses askew; Lance jerks up and Keith startles and then gasps as he moves his ribs. "Allura has been trying to reach you guys on the comms for like five minutes!" They all look at the discarded helmets lying on the ground, and Pidge sighs. "Whatever. We managed to jump successfully but we're gonna keep moving until we know we've lost them for sure. You two need to get up to medbay to help with the refugees, they're all really malnourished and we need all hands. Also Keith needs to get his ribs looked at."

"I'm--" Keith starts to say, clearly annoyed.

"Fine, you're fine, I know," Pidge says, rolling their eyes. "Don't care. You gotta get checked anyway. Deal with it."

Keith huffs but pushes off the wall. His face is still red, and he won't meet Lance's gaze at all. Lance's stomach twists as Keith passes by, unsure of what to say, unwilling to say it in front of Pidge. Keith glances at him and then away just as quickly, falling into step with Pidge as they leave the room.

Lance gives them a moment to get a few steps ahead before he follows, mind buzzing, skin tingling, wondering what the hell he's supposed to do now.

 

* * *

 

Keith does have bruising on his ribs, but he refuses to use one of the healing pods while the refugees need them more, so he goes two days walking around tentatively, using a cooling gel pack Coran gives him to soothe them. Everyone is so busy making sure that the refugees are comfortable and stable that there's no time for Lance to see Keith alone -- Lance is busy distributing clothing, personal hygiene products, blankets, and food, and he spends a lot of time listening quietly as some of the refugees break down and tell the story of their home planet being destroyed. There's always this quiet sort of disbelief, this lingering hope that Lance will tell them that they're wrong, that their planet really did survive.

Allura checked the minute they were free of the Galra. All of them are gone.

He spends two nights twisting all of his feelings up into a messy ball, mixing his frustration and terror and feeble, flickering hope into something that leaves him anxiously pacing outside of Keith's bedroom late one night, debating whether or not he should knock.

He knows what he thinks Keith meant, but he wants to hear the words out of Keith's mouth, wants to know that he's not just pushing his own feelings onto something friendly and distorting everything. But Keith has made it abundantly clear that he's not comfortable being around Lance right now, fading out of every room they find themselves in together, avoiding meals with excuses about his ribs, slipping out of every tentative conversation Lance tries to initiate.

Lance stumbles to a halt in his pacing, rubbing the palms of his hands over his tired eyes, cursing himself.

"Go to sleep," he whispers to himself, turning around to go back to his room.

"I was just about to say the same thing."

Lance spins to see Keith leaning against the frame of his doorway, blinking up at him with one hand wrapped around his middle, exhaustion lacing his expression. He's still wearing his clothes, so he wasn't asleep, but his hair is in disarray, as if he's been running his hands through it. His eyes are shadowed and tired. Lance can't read them, which kind of worries him.

"I--" Lance begins, "I just--"

"Fine," Keith says. "Let's just -- do this." There's resignation in his voice and it makes Lance's stomach turn over. He turns on his heel, clearly expecting Lance to follow, and Lance clenches his fists and does.

The inside of Keith's room is a mess of clothes and books and bits and pieces of some kind of machinery that Lance doesn't recognize. It's chaotic, like a tornado has ripped its way through the room, a disaster even for Keith.

Keith lowers himself to his bed with a soft wince and then looks up at Lance with flat eyes. Lance swallows, hovering awkwardly in front of him, unsure of what to say or do despite the hundreds of words he's had on the tip of his tongue the last two days.

"I didn't know," he settles on finally. Keith stares at him, unresponsive. Lance hisses a breath between his teeth and stuffs his hands into his pockets, trying to look calm even though his heartbeat is out of control. "I didn't know how you felt. I still don't."

Keith snorts, but he doesn't sound amused. "I don't know how I could be more obvious, Lance."

"You could," Lance says quietly, barely aware of what he's even saying, caught up in the wry twist of Keith's mouth, in the possibility that he might get to kiss it after all. He licks his lips and inhales, meeting Keith's gaze. Keith's eyes are dark but Lance can understand them now, tilted up at him and heavy with something that looks like hope. "You could just say the words." He pauses, steeling himself, and then says, making a show of demonstrating, "I like you."

Keith's breath hitches and red blooms over his face in a wash of color. Lance wants to smooth his fingers over his cheeks, wants to pull him in by the back of his neck and kiss him until he forgets his own name, but he waits, watching Keith bite his lower lip.

Keith isn't the type to back down from a challenge, so he only waits a moment before he repeats, firmly, "I like you." His face is still red, and his expression is almost combative, but there's something soft lingering in the corners of his mouth.

Lance's stomach erupts into butterflies, and the smile that breaks across his face hurts  a little. He takes a step closer to the bed, and then another, and then, when Keith just looks up at him patiently, sits down next to him. His hand rests on the bed next to Keith's, barely touching pinkies.

"You still -- you still shouldn't get hurt for me," Lance says, looking sideways as Keith makes a face.

"You'd do the same for me," Keith says. And -- he's not wrong, Lance admits. He still doesn't like it. It's not different but it feels different, the thought of getting hurt for Keith and the thought of Keith continuing to get hurt for him. One of them makes sense, and the other one rips at his insides. He could keep arguing the point, but.

He moves his hand to cover Keith's, pressing gently at the gaps between his fingers to slide his own down until they're laced together. Keith looks hard at his knees; even his ears are pink now, and Lance can't help himself any more. He leans in close and presses a kiss softly to the corner of Keith's mouth.

Keith turns at the last second as Lance pulls away, eyes wide. He licks his lips, and Lance's gaze drops and lingers. He feels like his heart is buzzing in his chest, like fire is touching him from the inside out -- he wants to kiss Keith again but doesn't know if he can.

"Can I?" he asks, voice rasping.

Keith answers by leaning forward, reaching up with one hand to hold Lance's jaw as he presses their mouths together firmly. Lance drops his hand to Keith's thigh to balance as he pushes into the kiss, tilting his head when Keith's mouth opens on a gasp. There's the brush of tongue against his lower lip before Keith pushes into the kiss again, slotting their lips together and sliding his hand to grip Lance's hair. It's hot and soft and more than he could have ever imagined. He dizzily thinks that he could kiss Keith forever, could live out the rest of his life just pressed against him like this.

When Keith gasps again, this time he pulls back, wincing. Lance almost follows him instinctively before he realizes that Keith is letting go of his hair to touch his own chest.

"Shit," Lance says, leaning back, mouth tingling, feeling slightly wrecked. "I'm sorry, I forgot."

"It's fine," Keith says, huffing out an exasperated laugh. "I did too."

Lance flushes even hotter at the dazed expression on Keith's face. "You should -- go ahead and get into one of the pods tomorrow. I think there should be one free by then."

Keith opens his mouth, obviously ready to argue, but then Lance squeezes his hand and looks at him as pleadingly as he can manage, batting his eyelashes as obnoxiously as he can. Keith stares at him in disbelief and then sighs.

"Fine," Keith concedes. "I'll go tomorrow." He tightens his grip on Lance's hand and smiles crookedly at him. "But only because I don't want to get interrupted next time."

Lance rolls his eyes, pleased when Keith laughs a little at him. "Whatever excuse you want to make is fine with me, as long as you get better."

"It wasn't even that bad, Lance," Keith says. "But I promise I'll -- I promise to try to keep from getting hurt in the future." Lance notices that he hasn't promised not to risk himself for Lance, but he'll take what he can get for right now.  

"Good," Lance says, and then takes the chance to lean in and kiss the tip of Keith's nose. Keith splutters and leans back, and Lance grins at him, pleased at the vague outrage on his face. "You should get some rest."

"You too," Keith murmurs. He keeps smoothing his thumb along the edge of Lance's hand, and it's really distracting. "I'll see you -- in the morning?"

"I'll walk you to the pod," Lance promises, standing up with Keith's hand still in his, reluctant to let go. "I'll give you a kiss goodbye."

"Touching," Keith deadpans, finally letting go of Lance's hand to push his hair out of his face. His cheeks are still pink, and he's smiling, looking more disheveled than ever. Lance really wants to stay with him, wants to kiss him and talk to him and just _look_ at him, now that it feels like he has permission to look all he wants, but he settles for blowing Keith a kiss as he walks towards the door.

"Night, Keith," Lance calls as the doors open.

"Goodnight, Lance," Keith says, still smiling. Lance steps outside and lets the doors close, and then leans against the wall outside the room, touching his own mouth and beaming.

He's so caught up in the memory of Keith's mouth against his that he doesn't notice Shiro until he's standing next to him.

"So," Shiro says, and Lance jumps a foot in the air with a muffled shriek. Shiro raises an eyebrow and gestures to Keith's door and then back to Lance. "Is this happening now?"

"Uh," Lance says intelligently, because he's not sure how Keith would want him to answer this question to his _older brother_. "I -- I think so?" he says tentatively, hoping that's a good enough answer.

"Good," Shiro says, gently touching his shoulder. "No offense, but I hope I never have to hear about how nice your eyes are ever again. Don't do anything to make me upset with you. Night." Lance stares with wide eyes as Shiro squeezes his shoulder hard once and then lets go.

Shiro walks past him to his own room, turning back to smile brightly at him before he walks through the doors, and Lance decides to book it on shaky legs to his own room before he gets ambushed by anyone else.

 

* * *

 

When Keith steps out of the pod, pale with cold and shivering faintly, Lance is there to catch him. He grabs hold of Lance's shoulders to balance himself, making a face at his own wobbly legs. There are ice crystals in his hair, melting already but still shimmering a little. The tip of his nose is pink.

"All better?" Lance asks, rubbing his hands up and down Keith's arms to warm them up. Keith tolerates this for a moment, and then pinches his arms to make him stop. "Ow, Keith! Use your words."

"I'm fine, Lance. All better." Keith doesn't let go of his shoulders, so Lance doesn't let go of him either, dropping his hands to Keith's waist. They're alone, thanks to some clever haggling with Pidge for the promise of extended privacy, so Lance doesn't worry about pulling Keith a little bit closer. Keith lets him, shuffling his feet, looking down instead of at Lance.

"And you promise to try not to get hurt in the future?" Lance asks, ducking his head to look Keith in the eyes. Keith sighs loudly, looking like he's barely resisting rolling his eyes. Lance presses his fingertips into the hollows of Keith's hips, pushing for an answer.

"I promise to try," Keith allows, and Lance grins at him. Keith stares for a moment and then surges forward just as Lance leans down, and they press their mouths together in a messy kiss that leaves Keith stumbling back against the pod and Lance tripping over his own feet. It's unrestrained in a way they hadn't been last night, Keith twisting his arms tight around Lance and Lance unafraid to smooth his hands up and down Keith's body. He lingers over the area the bruising had been, and Keith pushes into his touch with an impatient noise.

They kiss for what feels like hours, until Lance's mouth is burning and wet and Keith is panting for breath. Lance is pretty sure his hair is standing on end, and Keith's clothes are looking decidedly rumpled; they're both pink in the face and it's obvious what they've been up to. They look at each other and burst into laughter, embarrassed and happy at once.

Lance reaches up to tuck a messy piece of hair behind Keith's ear, and Keith catches his hand and presses it to his cheek. Keith's skin is warm to the touch, and he looks flustered, but he sounds genuine when he says, "Thanks for waiting for me to get out."

Lance cups Keith's cheek, his heart thrilling in his chest at how much he _likes_  him, at how much he's looking forward to making Keith look like this forever, at all of the kisses and conversations and touches they're going to share. He wonders if Keith has thought the same thing, if Keith has the same fierce joy burning under his skin, if Keith wants him as much as he wants Keith.

He's so used to wanting things -- he's so used to waiting impatiently for them to show up, used to chasing his dreams and having them just out of reach. It seems impossible that he could catch hold of something as volatile and flickering as Keith, but here he is, warm and solid and whole in Lance's arms, and he looks as happy to be there as Lance is to have him.

"I didn't mind waiting," he tells Keith with a grin, cutting off Keith's disbelieving laugh in favor of pressing him against the pod and kissing him again and again and again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, thank you so much for reading! I can be found at [apvrrish](http://apvrrish.tumblr.com) on tumblr, and at [@apvrrish](http://twitter.com/apvrrish) on twitter.


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